26 Nov

Why are people so selfish? Why do they have to make use of me? Why don’t they understand that I too have feelings. Why can’t they be as how I am with them? Why must they victimize me for their own benefit? What is my mistake? Where did I go wrong? I bet every one of us have gone through or still going through these set of questions. More often than not, we end being the ‘victim’ feeling guilty for the situation that we are in. So the million dollar question is this, are you actually the guilty person? The answer is simple. No you are not.

Then why do we still think that it is our fault? The main reason lies within ourselves. We give importance to what others might think of us. The decisions that we make and the corresponding actions that we undertake would always be based on what others might think or feel. We always have this thought of not wanting to hurt anyone under any circumstances, let alone with our decisions. Sadly, even if the decision might have given us a positive turning point in our lives, we ignore it. Just because we think that “other people” might be hurt, we tend to sacrifice our dreams and goals. We pacify ourselves by saying that, “at least they are happy”. Up to this end, it is fine. Now if these so called people are those who know you well, or worst still, your family, how would you feel? Exactly, it hurts you more than a knife piercing your heart. It creates an unforgiving and unbearable pain that stays there, even if you don’t want it. I felt it.

I needed to know why this was happening to me, despite the fact that I never had any ill feelings towards anyone, friends or foes. The more I thought about it, the more I drifted from reality. The more I sought for answers, the more I become agitated with myself. The more I approached people for reasoning, the more people made a fool of me. That’s when I realized a valuable lesson. Only you matter to yourself. No one else. The more you fail to understand yourself, the more you are going to go down in life.

We don’t have to please anyone. This is what I learned, the hard way though. I started changing my thought process into believing in myself. Good or bad, whatever decisions that I make, it’s mine and I am responsible for it. I don’t give importance to what others feel, for as I said, you cannot please everyone. I became a positive person and never gave an inch of space for others to dictate my life. Whatever I do, it is based on my own thoughts and not based on what others might think or say.

If you sit and recall back the events of your life, you will be surprised to note that the outcome of some the events might have given you a different perspective in chasing your dreams. We sit in silence and blame ourselves for the lost chances. Trust me, when you go and talk these people to say your lost chances, they will just turn around and say, why you didn't take it. And the best part, they won't feel guilty and say anything soothing to you. With that, they will coninue to live their life as normal as they can be. 

I believe that if you are true to ourselves you will have a clear picture as to what you want in your life. Opportunities will start coming to you. Take it and this time, make the right decision. 

Never underestimate your own capabilities. Start thinking positively and seek to add value to your life. Attend courses, take part in events, or join groups contributing to the society, where you are able to express yourself freely, without hesitation and most importantly without any confusion. This is where your self realization will take shape. People will now truly understand you. Believe me at this stage of your self realization, you will have quality people with you rather than having abundance of people who are just waiting for you to fail. Once they come to realize that they no longer can use you, they will automatically disappear from your life.    

Remember, there is no one on this planet that can bring you down or quash your dreams, except the person that you see in the mirror every morning. You cannot stop people of trying to take advantage of you. Its up to you to be the person you want to be. The more you take things in a positive way, the more you will start to realize your true strengths.

You are the creator of your destiny.

Believe you can.

God bless.

Sathia Nair

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